Cocoon

Sometimes (a lot lately, actually) I am disappointed that I'm not accomplishing more art - especially for not getting back to my daily hearts. I miss doing them, and know I could be more faithful. My goal is to become a working artist, so everything I do now is "education" and "training" and "market research." It is (hopefully) my next career and I try to be serious about my pursuit of artistic expression.

To combat my tendency to self-criticize, I remind myself of all that I do accomplish! Recently, I looked back at just a few of the things I've done over the past few weeks and decided I was right to not berate myself. I completed and mailed my 2nd batch of postcards (see below), spent 7 hours caring for my granddaughter while my older daughter was in the ER (thankfully, it turned out to be nothing, but the day was gone - and you need to know I'm going to be a grandma again in September!), spent another evening running both my daughters around so they could see their father who happened to come through town), took the dog to be groomed (you can see his eyes again!), prepped potatoes and salads for several hundred for a fund raising dinner (then attended the dinner after another meeting; my younger daughter is going to Africa in July) and completed a fabric "sculpture" of a butterfly and cocoon for an art display at church. This morning I even managed to plat that package of strawberry plants (that would die soon, since I'd had them for several weeks).



All this in addition to the standard fare: teaching full time, running younger daughter to work and various volunteer activities, preparation and teaching an adult Shepherding Group (like a Sunday School class; I don't teach every week, though), hosting Deaf Young Life Leadership meetings (light snack and beverages), trying to keep up with reading my artsy books and magazines, quiet time, and the usual attempts to organize and keep up with household chores and stuff.

None of this is meant to be a cry for sympathy or any praise for doing nice things. I simply share my thought process. It helps me get it out there and be more objective AND hopefully be being open about my struggles with self-acceptance others can maybe identify similar tendencies in themselves and be kinder to themselves. I meet people all the time who give and give and sacrifice, but still get down on themselves for not doing more. Every so often we need to step back and see the half-full cup of water!