Heart Felt

I want "heart felt" to be more than just art in my life. I hope to live by my heart, too. But sometimes I'm just too disorganized.

Earlier this evening when I treated myself to some of my favorite oriental take out for dinner, I met a woman outside the Dollar Tree store. Actually, she approached me. You see, she and her daughter had been waiting over an hour for the cab that was called. Thankfully, the weather tonight isn't the drenching, wailing storm of the past two nights, but it is December and it is a bit nippy after the sun goes down. She and her daughter were stranded without the cab. She offered to pay for gas if I could drive them and their few parcels up the road a few miles. She was apologetic the whole time and offered that if I didn't feel comfortable with the idea she completely understood and was embarrassed to have asked.

You need to know that while I have been in humble straits a number of times, I don't generally give notice to all the needy people on street corners sporting those "hungry - will work for food - God bless" signs. I know too many of them are scammers and prefer to give my donations to established organizations that help, like the Salvation Army or the Union Gospel Mission. I'm not heartless - I'm proud that my daughter works with the homeless each week. We were homeless when she was born 17 1/2 years ago, but I don't "do" streetside donations.

However, this mom had the ring of truth all over her. I'm just recovering from a cold and the special treat of chicken with warm noodles and vegies was tugging at me to just go home. The biggest deterrent, though, was that mess in my car. Between the water bottles (in various stages of emptiness), assorted items left after different errands, un-picked-up trash and my granddaughter's car seat, there was honestly not enough room for the lady and her daughter. So, I left, trying to convince myself that I had no obligation to them and that either the cab would show up or some other kind soul would give them a ride.

I kept thinking about them through dinner and chided myself a bit. But for a messy car, I could have easily helped someone in need. That mess. I usually just feel guilty and berate myself over my lack of organization just because of how it looks, how embarrassed I feel and how much time I waste searching for things. I usually don't think it affects anyone else. But tonight it affected a woman holding a few sacks and standing in the cold with her daughter in front of the Dollar Tree store.